Sure, you could carry around a USB drive on your key chain to move frequently used files back and forth between frequently used computers but 1. they cost money, 2. they bulk up your key chain (a nit-picky thing, I know, but it bugs me) and 3. if you lose your keys or the drive your files are gone. Forever. Not to mention I hate leaning over the back of my computer to put the USB drive in.

While there is certainly a place for USB drives (I have more than one myself), for file synchronization between computers, and off-site backup, Dropbox is pretty much the be-all-end-all solution.

Dropbox is a free application and service and functions like Apple’s MobileMe iDisk should. Install the program and a folder will appear on your desktop called Dropbox. Put any file in there and it will automatically be backed up online, and accessible from any browser. You can install it on a second computer as well and have the files in your Dropbox folder sync immediately between the two when a change is made.

For example, I have three computers I use regularly: my desktop at home, my laptop, and my desktop at work. I have Dropbox installed on all three and any time I want to make sure a file is available I simply drag it into the Dropbox and, ta-da, it (almost) instantly shows up on the other two computers.

This is an ideal situation for me as I often run across things I find interesting on the Internet, but don’t have time to check them out right away. I’ll drag the URL to the desktop (creating an HTML file) and drag that to my “To Read” folder in Dropbox. The file is waiting for me when I get home.

As I mentioned earlier, all your files are also available online by logging in through their homepage, so if you need access to a file on a computer that you don’t have the program installed on, the file is still accessible. You can even upload files through the browser and they’ll automatically sync back down to your computers.

All your files are available offline and there’s no limit to file size or type (yes, you can back up your music and other DRM’d files). There are quite a few other features including the ability to make folders and files public (a great alternative to FTP), revert to previously saved versions of your files, and more.

It’s a very simple, free way to sync, share and backup files. Dropbox just left beta and is now available at getdropbox.com. You get 2 GB of storage for free or 50 GB for $9.99/month. Give it a try.

Has anybody else been using Dropbox? What are your impressions of it? Leave word in the comments.

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Chick flick/romantic comedy spoiler alert: An unlikely couple end up falling for each other after a series of comedic events. Add a big misunderstanding that puts their relationship on the rocks to add a little drama and then wait for them to figure out where it all went wrong and get back together again. Roll credits.

Sorry if that sounds  a bit cynical, but it’s the (general) plot outline for a good number of chick flicks out there: Hitch, Pride & Prejudice, While You Were Sleeping, The Wedding Planner, How To Lose A Guy In Ten Days, etc., etc., etc..

I honestly never thought I’d say this, but romantic comedies may have actually taught me a couple of things:

1. It’s unrealistic to expect your life’s problems to be resolved in 90 minutes. I knew this already, but it’s a nice reminder.

2. By asking a simple question or two before making rash decisions, you can avoid a lot of headache and heartach. As I watch these movies I think, “That’s ridiculous. They could just ask about the situation and there wouldn’t be any problem.”

Take Hitch as an example:

Sara Meles: “I’ve discovered your secret identity as the Date Doctor! I’m breaking up with you because you told a guy to sleep with my friend then treat her like dirt.”

Hitch: “Wait a sec. Are you talking about that slimy guy with the power tie?”

Sarah: “Of course that’s who I’m talking about!”

Hitch: “Oh! Ha, ha, ha! Now I understand why you’re acting like a lunatic. You’re mistaken. I wouldn’t help the guy in question because he was a jerk.”

Sara: “Really? Oh. OK. Whew! I’m glad we cleared that up because I was about to ruin your career.”

Hitch: “I’m so glad we talked about this before you did something rash.”

Cut to scene of them getting married on Ellis Island. The park ranger who showed them around earlier is performing the ceremony. They ride off into the sunset on jet skis. (P.S. I should really write screenplays.)

Of course, removing conflict makes for an uneventful movie. But when dealing with reality (which I try to do on a regular basis) keeping life free of this kind of drama is preferable.

As I was asking a co-worker for applicable movie titles I could use here,  I told her the idea for this post. She said, “My friend and I were in a fight for seven months and I didn’t know why until I asked him and it turned out it was something stupid.” Which is exactly my point.

Why are you upset?

Do you know anything about __________?

I found out that _________. Is that right?

Do you have a secret identity?

Are you really in love with my comatose brother?

Did you really screw over Mr. Wickham?

These are all questions that can, and in some cases should, be asked before taking rash actions about a presumed situation. If it turns out that your initial assumption was correct, that’s one thing. But often our assumptions are wrong and taking a little time to get to the bottom of things before carrying through with a knee-jerk reaction will greatly simplify life.

BONUS QUESTION: What are some romantic comedies/chick flicks that don’t follow the aforementioned plot line? I know they’re out there… leave word in the comments.

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A while back I was listening to a radio show where a psychologist was on talking about self-esteem. I thought it was a bit odd since this particular station had more of an alternative/rock genre but I kept listening. The good doctor had a few good points on how to boost your self-esteem that are worth sharing.

Be specific

First of all, realize that if you have general low self-esteem, you’re not being specific enough. I know that sounds weird, but bear with me.

Nobody is bad at everything. If you feel like you’re completely worthless, you’re not looking at yourself hard enough. Guess what? You’re probably bad at certain things. Really bad. Horrible. You may even be the worst person in the world at doing something.

But that’s also the good news.

Identify what it is you have low self-esteem about. And your answer can’t be “myself” or “everything.” Just like nobody should have high self-esteem about everything, you shouldn’t have low self-esteem about everything either. So be honest with yourself. What’s getting you down? Now think, “Sweet. I don’t suck at everything, I just suck at these things.”

Odd? Perhaps. But hopefully you’ve just changed your mindset from “I suck” to “I suck at these things.” Think about it. There’s a big difference between those two statements.

Choose your battles

Congratulations. You now know what you’re not good at/feel bad about. Again, identifying those things is healthy because you’re focusing on specifics instead of the generalization of, “I suck.” And because you now know those things, you can make a plan of attack to improve yourself in those areas.

If you want to.

You see, I could make a very, very long list of things I’m not good at and that could lower my self-esteem if I were to dwell on them. Guess what?  Most of those things aren’t worth my time. Sure, I could make a plan to improve in those areas but I know I’m not going to be good at everything so I’d much rather focus my energies on the areas in which I can excel. Some might say that’s an excuse not to try. I say it’s picking your battles.

So figure out which areas are most important to you (I’d say limit it to one or two) and make a determination to make improvements in those areas.

Your plan of attack

OK. So you’ve identified which areas you want to improve your self-esteem. The rest of the things that you might catch yourself dwelling on are shoved away and you’re focused on what you can, and have chosen to, influence.

So what do you need to do to improve in those areas? Overweight? Underweight? Throw out your junk food and hit the gym. Feel overwhelmed intellectually? Start by taking an evening college course after work. Don’t feel like you have a lot of friends? Make a goal to reach out and be a friend to someone instead of waiting for someone to reach out to you.

Keep track of your progress in your specific areas. Set up reasonable goals and reward yourself for reaching them. My wife is big on star charts. You know – the grid with goals down one side and a time line across the top. Then put those little star stickers you got in elementary school up when you achieve something. Goofy? A bit. But it’s a fun way to monitor your progress. Post it somewhere you can see it often.

Don’t forget the bright side

Remember in the beginning how I said nobody’s bad at everything, just as nobody’s good at everything? That means you have some things you have good self-esteem about. Woo-hoo! Figure out what those things are and start doing them more often. Enjoy them. Revel in them. Don’t get cocky, but don’t deny yourself the pleasure of a job well done in one of those areas.

In review

1. It’s perfectly OK to have low self-esteem about certain things – just not you as a whole.

2. Figure out what, specifically, you have low self-esteem about.

3. Pick your battles – do these things really matter?

4. Take the things that do matter and that you want to work on and figure out your plan of attack.

5. Remember the things you’re good at too!

What are your thoughts on improving self-esteem? Please let me know in the comments.

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In interest of full disclosure, I’m not a doctor of any kind. If you have severe issues with self-esteem and/or depression, see a licensed doctor. This post was inspired by an interview of Doctor Matt on 101.9 FM. You can reach Dr. Matt at askdrmatt@yahoo.com. Photo courtesy of here.

The above photo is of a toy my son, Jake, got for his first birthday. It launches balls out of the orange top and plays music. He loves it.

On Sunday I walked into the living room and noticed the fan was blowing but there weren’t any balls shooting out of the top. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why the balls were just sitting there in the tube.

It took me a moment to notice the watch my dad gave me when I graduated college, was sitting at the bottom of the tube stopping the flow of balls and, subsequently, air. I chuckled, showed my wife and turned the toy over to get my watch out. No problem.

Then I had a realization: that orange top could just as easily have been a toilet bowl, which means the watch would have been in an entirely different tube. You get my drift.

I began thinking about how I would react if my son really had flushed my watch. Anger? Frustration?

A friend at work, Kendall, had a similar experience. His wife was carrying an armful of stuff in from the car and accidentally dropped his iPhone on the tile floor. His reaction? He told me, “I had the thought: Which is more important? An object or a person?”

Well put, Kendall.

Yes, I’d be upset if my watch got flushed. But it certainly wouldn’t be an excuse to get upset, especially when my son is only a year old. (If he were 16 and flushed my watch it would be a different story entirely.) :)

Thinking through this has helped me mentally prepare for how I’ll react to situations I know I’ll face as a father. But I think it has a greater application as well, beyond my son destroying my stuff.

Which is more important? An object or a person? For example, I began thinking about why I, and others, put in long hours at work every week. Is it to be able to afford expensive toys? Or is it to provide for my family?

If the answer is that we want to be able to afford stuff, at what point do we become satisfied? It’s a different way to look at it, but one that I think is worth giving consideration.

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I was on location for a television commercial we were shooting (when I’m not working on LivSimpl, hanging out with my family, volunteering, or being an assistant manager of our apartment complex, I’m a full-time copywriter at an ad agency). If you’ve ever been involved with filming anything, you know that there is a LOT of down time. Last night I jumped on Jiwire to see if there’d be a wireless signal where we were shooting. Sure enough, there were two availabe: one paid and one free.

As you can see from the above screen shot, Salt Lake isn’t exactly bustling with hotspots like other, larger cities. Knowing I’d have wireless access ahead of time helped me to plan my day more efficiently, communicate with some folks back at the office who were then able to e-mail me projects to work on. So instead of sitting around for a few hours before we actually started filming, I was able to get some work done and come home afterward instead of going back into the office.

This is an ideal solution for those who travel, even if it’s within their own city, as was the case with me. It’s also user-generated so you can submit locations they don’t have listed. In addition, they have a free app for the iPhone and widgets for both Windows and Mac.

I know there are quite a few other sites out there that offer similar services. Does anyone have any experiences/recommendations? Please let us know in the comments.

LivSimpl

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Real listening will transform your life. When you speak you are expressing what is in you. When you listen you let the world in. You open yourself up to new information and experiences. The little story about why God gave us two ears and one mouth is true.

But listening is not just a necessity; it is also a pleasure and an adventure. It opens life opens up. Conversations become vivid. You connect to people at a deeper level. As with all good things, the fruit of listening has to be plucked – it won’t fall into your lap. You will have to make an effort to unlearn your bad listening habits and learn some good ones. Here’s how:

Develop the desire to listen. You will not listen if you don’t think it is worth the effort. Listening to others is your key to another world. If you listen, the other person will tell you some astounding things. You will become a better partner, colleagues, friend, parent; in fact all your relationships will be transformed beyond recognition. If this doesn’t motivate you, find something else that will.

Give full attention. This is the first step in listening, yet most of the time we get it wrong. So put down your pen, turn away from your computer screen and listen to me. You should at least stop all other physical activity. More about your mental activity below.

Listen to the last word. Always let the other person do most of the talking. And do not interrupt them. Listen until they have spoken their last word. The reason why we interrupt others is that we think that we understand what they are saying. But most of the time we don’t. Take notes if you are worried about forgetting a particular point.

Paraphrase to make sure you understood and ask them if you did. To paraphrase, one simply rewords what you think the other person has said. For example, she might say, “He was stupid to break up with me.” You might respond, “I hear you saying that you believe he shouldn’t have walked out.” And then ask them if you have got it right. This is also a good way to consolidate if they are talking for a long time. Just ask if you can make sure that you understand, and then paraphrase what they have said up to that point.

Get more information. Another way to get deeper into the conversation is to ask a genuine question. If they haven’t told you yet, ask about their feelings: “How do you feel about this?” Or if you don’t understand parts of what they are saying, ask them to explain further. And be prepared to look stupid. Saying that you don’t understand is an excellent invitation to learning something new.

Don’t just listen to the words. Listen to how something is said. What is the overall sense you get from them? Is there something that you would have expected them to say, that went unsaid? If you sense anything of this nature, ask them about it in as non-confrontational a manner as possible. Say something like: “Can you tell me more about how you responded when he walked out?”

If what they say pushes your emotional buttons… We often stop listening when we feel that we are being accused, or when something that is important to you is being belittled or criticized. The trick to avoiding this is not to jump to conclusions and retaliating. Rather try to ask a genuine question; if nothing else this gives you some time to regain your composure. For example, the speaker might say, “You really screwed up this job.” You might respond, “Can you tell me more about what you didn’t like about it?” or “Can we talk about what can I do to improve on this?” Such questions will allow you to explore their statements and get back to a constructive conversation, one that can be helpful to both of you.

In the end listening is about giving full and sustained attention to the person that is speaking. Any technique that allows you do to do this will do the business. What else has worked for you?

Learning how to listen is a wonderful skill to master to improve relationships. Thanks to Albert for his post! Please be sure to visit him over at his site, Headspace. – LivSimpl

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There’s an easy solution to this predicament: Forever Stamps. You’ve probably heard of them, but if not, here’s the rundown: Forever Stamps are sold at the current price for stamps, but they can still be used after rates go up.

The reason why I mention this is because now is a good time to pick up a big pack or two. According to the USPS website postage is due to take another hike soon. May 12th to be exact.

While the bump in price is a small one, this is a great excuse to stock up. In addition to purchasing the stamps, I’d also suggest creating a small stationery kit.

It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I’m not talking about fountain pens, embossed paper and sealing wax. Gather some modest, blank cards with fitting envelopes, standard-sized business envelopes and your stamps. Put them all in a manilla folder that’s easily accessible – you can even file it away if you don’t want it cluttering your desk. The important thing is that you know where to locate your stamps and other tools for correspondence.

Now you’ve not only saved yourself a little money and become more organized, but you’ve removed an obstacle that stood in your way from writing thoughtful notes and thank-yous! And, if you’re like me, the little kit you made will be around serving its purpose for years. :)

LivSimpl


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That being said, I think I (and possibly others) can get caught up in the method or system of trying to manage everything we do instead of thinking of ways to reduce the number of things we have to manage in the first place.

What can you eliminate?

Step back and look at everything on your plate. The items on your to-do list may seem overwhelming. Take a breath, step further back, and look at the source of those to-do’s. Instead of going after the to-do’s, attack the root of the problem by looking at their source. Which obligations can you remove yourself from, either through delegation or resignation?

Take an honest look at what yo have going on. It may be wise to take a half a day off work and think about it. Examine each obligation thoughtfully and ask yourself, “Is it worth it? Why did I start doing this in the first place? What’s the benefit to me? To others?” You may find you have a lot of things you can quickly cut. Other things may take a little more reflection. But the important thing is to cut back until you feel comfortable managing what remains.

How to keep it from coming back

Once you’ve brought your obligations down to a manageable level, you must jealously guard your newly realized schedule/agenda/radar to prevent it from spiraling out of control again, and you must do this without guilt.

When the next “thing” comes up, vying for your time, you have three options:

1. Accept and replace. Whatever this new opportunity is, it’s important enough that it should replace something on your list of obligations. This means you have to eliminate one of your current responsibilities, and it has to be something of equal proportion! You can’t accept a position as a member of the board of a charitable organization and make the kids walk the dog in the morning.

2. Sincere apologies. Find the most tactful and sincere way to say “I’m sorry” and say it with confidence. “Sorry, I have quite a bit going on and I wouldn’t be able to give that project proper attention, but thank you for considering me.” Don’t let yourself feel guilty over this! You’re not slacking! You’re ensuring you’re able to fulfill your existing commitments. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

3. Space available. Perhaps your circumstances have changed. Maybe little league has ended and now you have five more hours a week you can, and want, to commit to a new project or responsibility.

It’s important to remember that every waking moment doesn’t have to be spent doing something for somebody else. For example, just because there’s space on your schedule after dinner on Thursdays doesn’t mean you have to join your friend’s roller derby league. Time for yourself and time with family are very real obligations, perhaps the most important of all. Don’t squeeze so much in that you don’t have time for them.

The result of this exercise? A more manageable schedule where you have less stress and more time to enjoy the things that truly matter to you.

LivSimpl

P.S. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this idea. Drop me an e-mail at LivSimpl at gmail.

P.P.S. This post was selected by ProBlogger’s Darren Rowse as one of his 73 Top Posts from Last Week! Thanks to Darren for the link!

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This is a guest post by Loren Blinde of Writing Power. Loren teaches college English, and she launched Writing Power to help people enrich their lives by improving their writing. Feel free to contact her at loren@writingpower.net

Many people begin to pursue simplicity in part to make their lives easier. They resolve to pare down their possessions because 1) less “stuff” is easier to manage, and 2) with less clutter, they can find the items they need with less trouble.

But as an individual continues to practice simple living, intangible benefits begin to surface. Simplicity is a lifestyle choice. Simplifying helps a person to clarify his or her values and priorities: by not keeping a lot of other junk, a person can emphasize that which is truly important to him or her. Achieving simplicity also indicates that a person is at peace with his or her life rather than holding on to the past. Moreover, achieving simplicity requires deliberate action and effective decision-making, two signs of a strong character.

Simple truly is beautiful. So, why stop at simplifying our homes, our schedules, and our finances? Why not simplify our writing as well?

I propose that simplifying your writing can have a dramatic effect on the level of happiness and meaning in your life. Simple writing is deliberate and clear-headed. Simple writing emphasizes the important. Most of all, because readers have to do less mental work to extract meaning from a simply-written piece, simple writing is productive, efficient, and powerful.

To achieve simplicity, a writer must pay attention to two things: 1) removing clutter from his or her writing, and 2) presenting the essential material clearly and effectively. The following seven tips will help you simplify and enliven your prose, whether you’re writing in an academic, personal, or professional context.

1. Toss Wordy Phrases: certain phrases are like clutter. They add little to your writing, but they always seem to find their way into it. The good news is that you can usually cut them right out of the sentence or replace them with one word. For example:

It is evident that wordy phrases deaden writing.
Wordy phrases deaden writing.

What happened was I slipped.
I slipped.

In each case, the second sentence is punchier, more direct and forceful. To help you recognize this verbal clutter, I have compiled some examples. For more, check out Strunk and White’s famous guide, The Elements of Style.

The question as to whether = whether
Due to the fact that = because
In a haphazard way = haphazardly
Liberty is a thing which = liberty is

2. Don’t Overuse Prepositions: sometimes, these little words are indispensible. The problem occurs when too many prepositional phrases latch onto a sentence. It becomes difficult to wade through them. For example:

The reason for the weather is the moisture of the air from a low pressure system that started over the ocean.

An oceanic low pressure system caused this humidity.

To help you in your weeding, here is a partial list of prepositions: at, around, over, under, through, to, of, for, by, from, on, out, in, between, among

3. Trash Passive Voice: in active voice, the sentence’s subject does something. (“The boy hit the ball.”) In passive voice, the sentence’s subject has something done to it. (“The ball was hit.”) Passive voice is generally undesirable because it is less precise, and often it obscures the doer of the verb’s action altogether. (For a detailed explanation of what passive voice is, what’s wrong with it, how to spot it, and how to fix it, check out this post.)

4. Prefer Vivid Verbs to Adverbs: adverbs are generally unnecessary. As writers, we often think that our prose may not have the same ring without a good adverb. I certainly understand this perception: even though I know they aren’t as cool as they sound, adverbs are one of my worst writing habits. But compare these two sentences:

She was very upset by her performance at Friday’s game.
She was devastated by her performance at Friday’s game.

Which one sounds stronger to you? Or take this example:

We could understand her because she spoke clearly.
We could understand her because she enunciated.

Which one sounds more specific?

The first four tips focused on what to remove to simplify your writing. Now that we have gotten rid of the junk, we can move on to stage two of simplification: organizing. The next five tips will help writers enhance readability by arranging sentences in the clearest, most reader-friendly manner possible.

5. Keep related words together: modifiers (both words and phrases) belong next to the words they modify. Check out this example:

I broke my shoe’s heel on the curb, which was really expensive.

What was really expensive? The shoe, the heel, or the curb? Common sense may tell us one, but the sentence’s construction tells us another. Moving the modifying phrase will clear it up:

I broke the heel of my shoe, which was really expensive, on the curb.

Or, an even better modification:

I broke the heel of my expensive shoes on the curb.

Likewise, sentences are easier for readers to decipher if the subject and the verb are together. Because readers process sentences in short term memory first, a long interjecting phrase between subject and verb increases the chance of misunderstanding. For example:

A writer, despite many demands on his or her time that tend to sap creative juices rather than amplify inspiration, must worship clarity.

Chances are good that by the time they get to “creative juices,” most readers will have forgotten the subject of this sentence altogether. Moving the subject and verb together will greatly increase this sentence’s readability (although this writer might do well to put the thesaurus down and use plain words once in a while):

A writer must worship clarity despite many demands on his or her time…

6. Combine Short Sentences for Clearer Meaning: At first glance, this direction seems at odds with simplicity’s mandates. Wouldn’t a short sentence be better than a long one? After all, they’re called simple sentences for a reason.

True. Short, single-clause sentences can be gorgeous. But often, a string of simple sentences may be redundant. I mean, a plain white tee-shirt could be the height of simplicity, but twenty-five plain white tees? Not so much. Consider this example:

Writers choose to write simple sentences for many reasons. One of these reasons is that they’re afraid of making a mistake in punctuation. As a result, their sentences sound monotonous.

Why not put this material in one complex sentence instead:

Because they’re afraid of making a punctuation mistake, writers often choose to write monotonous-sounding simple sentences.

7. Vary Your Paragraph Length: Too many short paragraphs may suggest a lack of development; overly long paragraphs may cause readers’ eyes to glaze over. If every paragraph is the same length as every other, it can feel mechanical. The simple rule? Let content be your guide: each paragraph should have a clearly articulated point. Secondarily, remember all of the adages that praise variety? They’re adages for a reason.

The simplest rule of all is this: think of your reader when you’re writing. Don’t let your reader get overwhelmed by verbal clutter, and don’t let passive or misleading sentences confuse him or her. Give your reader your best, most vivid, most interesting work.

Thanks to Loren for her excellent post! Please take some time to read and subscribe to her site Writing Power.

If you’d like to contribute a post – or even an idea for a post – please e-mail me at LivSimpl at gmail. I’d also welcome the opportunity to write for your site!

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