People vs. Things
11 comments so far
The above photo is of a toy my son, Jake, got for his first birthday. It launches balls out of the orange top and plays music. He loves it.
On Sunday I walked into the living room and noticed the fan was blowing but there weren’t any balls shooting out of the top. I couldn’t figure out for the life of me why the balls were just sitting there in the tube.
It took me a moment to notice the watch my dad gave me when I graduated college, was sitting at the bottom of the tube stopping the flow of balls and, subsequently, air. I chuckled, showed my wife and turned the toy over to get my watch out. No problem.
Then I had a realization: that orange top could just as easily have been a toilet bowl, which means the watch would have been in an entirely different tube. You get my drift.
I began thinking about how I would react if my son really had flushed my watch. Anger? Frustration?
A friend at work, Kendall, had a similar experience. His wife was carrying an armful of stuff in from the car and accidentally dropped his iPhone on the tile floor. His reaction? He told me, “I had the thought: Which is more important? An object or a person?”
Well put, Kendall.
Yes, I’d be upset if my watch got flushed. But it certainly wouldn’t be an excuse to get upset, especially when my son is only a year old. (If he were 16 and flushed my watch it would be a different story entirely.) :)
Thinking through this has helped me mentally prepare for how I’ll react to situations I know I’ll face as a father. But I think it has a greater application as well, beyond my son destroying my stuff.
Which is more important? An object or a person? For example, I began thinking about why I, and others, put in long hours at work every week. Is it to be able to afford expensive toys? Or is it to provide for my family?
If the answer is that we want to be able to afford stuff, at what point do we become satisfied? It’s a different way to look at it, but one that I think is worth giving consideration.
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Thursday, May 29th, 2008 at 10:18 pm and is filed under Environment, Guest Authors, Politics, Simple Pleasures, Work. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
You are right. We work too hard for “stuff” that is here today and gone tomorrow. This summer I am purging stuff to simplify my life.
Right before CHristmas, my son was driving three of his friends home from a concert. The city decided that at 29 degrees it was a good idea to water and a sheet of ice was on the street just on the other side of a U shaped curve. My son hit the ice and rolled my truck. While the truck was totaled, all four boys walked away with an adrinaline rush only needing one small band aid. In this case, do you think I cared about the truck? No way. I was just ecstatic that they all had been wearing their seat belts and were laughing instead of mourning.
I learned years ago that often our favorite stories are of little crisis’ or plans that went awry. Our kids talk about our worst vacation more than the good ones. Often the stories about our good vacations center around the rain storm or jelly fish that “runined” the day. To help myself apply the principle you spoke about I try to tell myself and others “this is going to make a great story someday”. It really works. Thanks for a great reminder about this.
The more you stuff you have, the less freedom you have. Great article!
Also, the new design is elegant. ;-)
More good stuff from you Dave. I love it when you weave real life stories into your posts.
Our grumpy, irritated, nasty responses are often habitual. I find that reminders of this nature (”People or Things”) allow me to check my response and remember my real priorities.
Albert@Headspace
Once I decorated a cake and had only hours to deliver it. I set it on the table and my little one year old climbed up to it and pulled it all apart. At first I wanted to cry then I just laughed. It is a good thing to ask ourselves what is really more important. I was visiting recently with a couple that have been married 66 years. They are such fun to visit. This visit they spoke of a child that they lost when he was a day old. (61 years ago) They still yearn for the child, love and miss him.
Yes those we love are more important!
People do come first. Incidentally, my mom made her choice clear when she dropped me in a parking lot as a child while she was trying to balance library books. (Kidding. About the caring, not the dropping.)
You just have to remember that things will break and get lost, and the fact that you care more about the person than the object is great. But that doesn’t mean you have to lose your stuff either. Just keep an eye out of your child’s surroundings. Not just for the sake of your stuff, but the safety of the child himself.
How true this post is. We need to take more time and examine what is really important to us as opposed to the items we bind ourself to.
If you wouldn’t mind me sharing, I just updating my blog that offers similar advice.
Check it out:
http://zenplease.com
Thank you all so much for your comments!
Laurie - That’s quite the story! It made me grateful my son is still only a year old. ;)
Sara - *laugh* Funny story! I hope you tease your mom about it. :)
Thanks for this livsimpl post Dave. It reminded me that I need to stop destructing my Dad’s stuff and to worry less about all my “things” and share a lot more with people. Especially the people who mean most to me. Thanks for the reminder. Oh, and by the way, I acidentally scratched the screen on your MacBook…..I’m glad you love me more than a computer!
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